Gaining Your Brother (or Sister) (2)

“Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother” Matthew 18:15

Have you ever had someone come to you to talk to you about sin in your life? Jesus said that people should do that if they care about us, if they love us, if they want to maintain our relationship as brothers and sisters in Christ. However, most of us haven’t experienced this and it’s probably not because we are perfect. So, why don’t we do this with each other?

Them – Why don’t they talk to us?
Some people don’t know that Jesus said that problem resolution begins with them (Matt 18:15). Some people know it, but don’t think it will work. Some people are timid, fearful, or think it isn’t their job (it’s someone else’s job to correct people). Some people are afraid that they will be accused of being a hypocrite, hateful, or judgmental. Some people live inconsistently and are afraid their own sin will be pointed out if they point out someone else’s sin. While others may not think that sin (or at least THAT sin) is important or serious enough to mention.

Faith, trust in God’s word, love for others, and close relationships can overcome most of these! If they view telling us our fault as gaining their brother (Matt 18:15), they will talk to us!

Us – Why don’t they talk to us?
It may be that we haven’t made the effort to establish close spiritual familial relationships and we feel distant and unapproachable. Maybe they’ve heard us call correction hate speech, being judgmental, or none of their business. Being quick to anger and responding badly in the past will make people fearful they will provoke us. If we respond with accusations of hypocrisy, gossip, arrogance, or legalism, others will know we aren’t open to future correction. Spiritual or physical arrogance on our part will create pride barriers that most people won’t feel they can get through. Accusing others of personality clashes or jealousy, distracting from the real issues, will shut down productive communication. Belittling or excusing sin will push away those who love righteousness. And impenitence, continuing in sin, will alienate us from others AND God.

Faith, trust in God’s word, love for others, and close spiritual relationships can overcome most of these. If we view them telling us our fault as gaining their brother (Matt 18:15), we will welcome them to talk to us! dd